The Truth About Listening Techniques

Listening techniques are only part of the equation. The best way to think about it is to compare it to movies. Good costumes and special effects alone don’t make a good movie. Good paraphrasing, questions, body language mirroring, etc. alone do not make for good listening. However, if you learn movie making, you have to learn the basics. Not only that, you have to understand how the visual techniques impact the emotional tone of the movie. Movie techniques have to serve the story. Listening techniques have to serve the speaker’s need to tell his story.

If a movie is filled with special effects but has no coherent story, we don't like it. If you keep nodding and saying, "I understand," but you don't appreciate what the speaker is saying, then people will soon figure out that you're just going through the motions.

Author John Barth once said, “My feeling about technique in art is that it has about the same value as technique in lovemaking. Heartfelt ineptitude has its appeal and so does heartless skill, but what you want is passionate virtuosity.”