When you sit down and listen to someone, you have to honestly ask yourself, what do you hope to accomplish? Are you trying to sell them something? Are you just trying to do your job? Are you trying to appease their complaints? Or are you really giving them a chance to voice their feelings and concerns? What if you do not agree with their viewpoint? What if you believe you have the answer to their problem? Do you still give them the unfettered opportunity to speak their mind?
The second issue relates to techniques. Techniques are important. They allow you to accomplish your listening goals. However, listening is not simply a matter of utilizing the right techniques. Getting someone to talk about something difficult, painful, and personal requires the utmost sensitivity. If the speaker notices you are just going through the motions, or recognizes a formula or repetition to your techniques, then your good faith and sincerity are questioned. Emphasizing listening techniques above the human interest is similar to emphasizing writing techniques above the human story. Poor spelling will ruin a story. Poor technique will ruin listening. But good grammar doesn’t guarantee a good story. Good technique does not guarantee good listening. Listen only works well when both technique and purpose work together.
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